cunt_rocket: I used to be a Police/Fire/911 Dispatcher but had to quit because it nearly made me suicidal. I had thoughts, but had to drive 40 miles to go to a center/hospital where no one knew me for help.
I have nightmares about a few calls I took where the caller killed themselves, shot someone else, or passed away on the phone with me. To this day, a few years after resigning, I still can’t listen to a phone ring, or sirens go off without having a mild panic attack. I am fairly sure it’s a form of PTSD, with flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, and an inability to function sometimes, but I’m embarrassed and scared to tell my fiance or go to a doctor for it.
I know there are soldiers out there with real PTSD who deserve help far more than me. I am very good at hiding it though. I also sometimes wait until my fiance goes to sleep, and I will then go sit and pretty much cry for several hours. It’s hell.
The next secret will chok you