AndMySecretIs: I get insanely super-attached to my guy friends, even those who are merely acquaintances. I have a boyfriend, and I love him dearly, but I fantasize about his friends and my friends and pretty much every one of my guy friends except him.
It gets to the point where I feel possessive of someone who is clearly not mine. I wish for them to always be single because they’re MINE.
They’re not allowed to have a girlfriend. It’s not right. One college friend has a girlfriend, and I’m incredibly jealous of her, but I see him more during school time.
I obsess over them. To an extent, I’ve stalked two of them. I knew everything about this one guy from high school who thought it was my best friend, and so he ruined her life that year. I’m pretty sure I creeped another guy out by knowing his license plate number.
There have been times when I sat at the computer just staring at one of their pictures for an hour. My issue’s bad enough to have developed alternate realities in my head for all of them to be mine. Sometimes separated, sometimes all together.
I feel ashamed when I talk to my boyfriend sometimes because I almost ruined our relationship at first because of this. Now, I spend as much time as I can with him because he drives those thoughts out of my head.