ImAPixiePrincess: If my son ever learned about our beginnings, I feel it’d hurt him which would then ruin my life. I hated my pregnancy, I was depressed the entire time. I didn’t want to see him when they asked me if I wanted to hold him after the cesarean section. I did glance at him and the first thing I said about my son was to his dad and it was “he looks like your mother.” I didn’t want to see him after getting out of the operating theater either.
I gave him to my mother-in-law as much as possible during the two weeks she had off. So much so that my husband told me I needed to start caring for my son myself. He states he was concerned I wouldn’t learn how to handle the baby on my own, but the idiot forgot I basically helped raise some of my nieces and nephews.
I didn’t feel anything outside of responsibility for my son for the first three months of his life. I didn’t fully attach until he was about a year old.
He’s two now and although he drives me up a wall with his unlimited energy, I love him to death. I never want to risk him thinking anything was his fault, or that he shouldn’t have been born.